So the March semi finalist have been announced and this time I didn't even place. I cannot help but feel sadness having not made it; after placing in the semis twice. As usual, the questions start to pile up. What am I doing wrong? Why did I make it to the semis before and not now? What didn't they like about the current draft?
These questions come hard and fast and are enough to send you into a severe depression, especially considering the quality of *some* of the others who have won. When you put your time and effort into crafting something that is essentially supposed to help you make it to the next state in life; only to have it be deemed not good enough. That takes it toll on you. When the only thing you feel you are good at is writing and you can't even be a success at that. It tears you down something fierce.
You look towards these things that you do as something to save you from your current life. To save you from having to struggle the way you have been. When you see your hard work bring you closer and closer to what you feel is acknowledgement of your goal only to have it ripped away at the last moment; It becomes more than you can take.
They say to make it in Hollywood requires thick skin. You will deal with a hundred no's before a single yes. It's been said time and time again that there is no place for weakness in a business so cutthroat, so brutal, so treacherous; as Hollywood. In the end we are all people with emotions and hearts as weak as a sheet of paper. It doesn't really matter how strong or tough we try to make ourselves out to be; we are all weak.
It is that weakness that we also draw strength from.
"Sadness leads to anger. Anger leads to Rage. Rage fuels Determination. Determination leads to Success. Success is a path fraught with peril but it is the path of my choosing."
I will get through this, but for now Sadness is the stage where I currently reside.
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